Shower Thoughts To Start Or End Your Day With A Laugh

Jul 11, 2023

The shower can be a place of liberation, self-discovery, and healing. For many, it’s a place to retreat from the pressures of work and family. With an exfoliating scrub in one hand and the soothing drops of water from an overhead faucet raining down, the shower can be that place of seclusion from the world where we do most of our … shower thoughts.

Shower thoughts? You know the ones … those thoughts that randomly come in from one ear and go out the other after a few minutes of intense pondering. Everything from Newton’s Law of Gravity to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity were discovered in, you guessed it, the shower.

Though that’s not exactly true, there is no doubt that greatness can be discovered in that secluded spa of serenity you call the shower. So, to help you with your own shower thoughts, we’ve gathered a few (just 100) shower thoughts to get your own thinking going.

If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

If two mind readers read each other’s minds, whose mind are they actually reading?

Do fish get thirsty?

If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?

If you’re born on your birthday, does that mean you’ll die on it too?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If procrastinators had a club, would they ever hold a meeting?

If laughter is the best medicine, does that mean comedians should be pharmacists?

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you actually do?

Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy alcohol?

Why is it called “rush hour” when traffic moves so slow?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where, and When,” you get “That, There, and Then.”

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his iPod?

Why is it called a “building” if it’s already been built?

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

If all the world’s a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If someone told you that you’re one in a million, there are still approximately 7,800 people just like you.

If humans evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If we evolve to have no physical flaws, what would plastic surgeons do for a living?

If parallel lines meet at infinity, are they still parallel?

If the early bird catches the worm, why doesn’t the early worm catch the bird?

Why don’t we say “bless you” when someone coughs or sneezes in the shower?

If “Q” and “U” are always together, why do they start with “S” in “squirrel”?

If a fly loses its wings, is it called a walk?

If you clean a vacuum cleaner, do you become a vacuum cleaner?

If you can’t buy happiness, can you rent it?

If you can’t stand the heat, should you avoid the kitchen?

If life is a rollercoaster, is death the drop at the end?

If ignorance is bliss, why do we seek knowledge?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?

If a bookshop never runs out of books, why do you have to leave after buying one?

If you can’t make a decision, can you still be indecisive?

If nothing is impossible, is it possible for something to be impossible?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If two vegans get into an argument, is it still considered beef?

If life is a game, what are the rules, and who’s keeping score?

If ghosts can walk through walls, why don’t they fall through the floor?

If you’re afraid of your own shadow, does that mean you have a phobia of yourself?

If you sneeze on a computer, do you get a virus?

If shoes are made for walking, why do people drive to the gym?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If humans could fly, there’d be designated human lanes in the sky.

If there’s no such thing as bad weather, why do weather forecasts exist?

If you replace “W” with “F” in “What, Where, and When,” you get “Fat, There, and Fen.”

If swimming is a good exercise for your arms, why doesn’t it make them water-resistant?

If you can’t find your phone, does that mean you’re not “cellf-employed”?

If every rule has an exception, does that mean there’s an exception to that rule?

If a food truck breaks down, does it become a “feet” truck?

If you try to fail and fail, did you succeed or fail?

If you spin an oriental person around, do they become disoriented?

If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?

If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?

If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

If two mind readers read each other’s minds, whose mind are they actually reading?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

If conjoined twins commit a crime, do they both go to jail or just one?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If the early bird gets the worm, I’m sleeping in.

If time is money, are ATMs time machines?

If you take a shower in the rain, are you double-cleaning?

If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

If 7-11 is open 24/7, why do they have locks on the doors?

If pro and con are opposites, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?

If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy alcohol?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

If practice makes perfect, but nobody’s perfect, why practice?

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?

If you clean a vacuum cleaner, do you become the vacuum cleaner?

If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?

If you’re a pirate and you don’t have a hook, is that a hand-me-down?

If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

If life is like a box of chocolates, are fat people delicious?

If a bald person works as a chef, do they add a little extra seasoning to their meals?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean one enjoys it?

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?

If you eat pasta and antipasto at the same time, will you still be hungry?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth?

If you’re too open-minded, your brain might fall out.

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a taxi driver drives backwards, does he owe you money?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

If someone told you you were crazy, and you knew you weren’t, would that make you crazy?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

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